Monday, June 22, 2009

Week 1

I did everything right, I swear it. Sadly, it was not enough. I gained a pound.

*sigh* I guess it's on to next week. Maybe it will be better.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Not of My Own

I actually dislike Fraggle Rock, but Jeff bought Bebo a couple of the DVDs anyway. In one episode, a little Doozer strikes out for adventure, singing a song with the line "I'm on my own, I'm on my own, I'm my own." That doesn't really work out for her, though. She needs Gobo Fraggle to help her out of a mess.

In my weight loss "adventures" - yo-yoing around an 80-lb loss - I have come to realize something. For all the "if it is to be, it's up to me" talk, and all the "you CAN do it!" mantras, the truth remains - I can't do this on my own.

It's much more than just having a great support group, too. I've consistently left God out of the equation. I am not one of these religious loons you see on TV, but I do know what I believe and why I believe it. All these years of back-and-forth, losses and binges, successes and failures has just shown me how much I really need to rely on Him. I suppose part of me thinks that since I got myself into this mess in the first place, I should get myself out. Another part tells me that God is not impressed with such a petty request as one to lose a few (okay, a lot of) pounds.

And yet, deep down, I know that isn't true. I know that He can provide me with the self-discipline I so blatantly lack. I know that I should be feeding my emotions with Him instead of with food. I know that I can do it, but only with His help can I totally stay the course.

So my "mantra" has changed... I can do this - but only by the grace of God. I do not apologize for it, either. My Christianity is as much a part of me as anything else, and it has always brought out the best in me when I was at my lowest. It's time to let that happen again.

"I can do all things THROUGH CHRIST who strengthens me." Php 4:13

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

My Momma

Mom needs to lower her triglycerides, doctor's orders. I need to lose weight. We need each other. I'm going to hold her accountable and she will do the same for me. I don't eat like they do, but we are trading food and recipe ideas, anyway.

Mom is one of these people who believes everyone is entitled to her opinion. :) Strangely, this is exactly what I need. She will not pull punches when it comes to dishing out the cold hard truth and she definitely will not care if she hurts my feelings in the process. (Not that she's a meanie, but Jeff is too afraid to insult me - even if it's needed.)

I am glad for this partnership. We are weighing in on Mondays and Fridays. It was embarrassing to admit out loud how much I weigh - I don't enjoy saying that particular number. But it's just Mom, and it's not like I can hide how big I really am. I'm only fooling myself if I think I can.

Yesterday was a pretty good eating day. I have decided to count points because it's what I know, and actually came in under my daily points by a bit. I didn't intend for it to work out that way, because you're supposed to eat them all, but I got to the end of the day and simply was not hungry, so I ate 28 instead of 31 points.

I had good food, too - a scrambled egg sandwich & watermelon for breakfast, a spinach/strawberry/chicken salad for lunch, an ice cream sandwich, blueberry muffin & apple for snacks, and a fajita salad for supper. Tasty.

Today I'm thinking oatmeal with strawberries for breakfast, a BST (bacon-spinach-tomato) & watermelon for lunch, and meatloaf for supper. Yes, folks - eating healthy does not mean you have to give up the things you love!

So it's off to the races. Competition is a good thing. If I can keep Mom into it and she starts losing weight, it will provide just the bit of a competitive edge that I thrive on. Let's see how it goes, shall we?

Thursday, June 11, 2009


What I ate yesterday:


1/2 c. oatmeal
1 c. strawberries
iced coffee (1 c. milk, 3 c. coffee)
Total Points: 6


Chicken sandwich
-2 slices whole wheat bread
-4 oz chicken
-spinach, tomatoes
-slice cheese
-1 tsp miracle whip & 1 tsp mustard
1 c. watermelon
1/2 roasted bell pepper
Total Points: 8


1 svg salt & vinegar chips
1/2 c. neopolitan ice cream
Total Points: 6


1 c. Chicken Heck-Yeah soup
chicken souvlaki
medium fries
1/4 personal pan cheese pizza
Total Points: 24

Total Points for day: 44
Points available: 33