Monday, June 14, 2010

Week One Results

I lost 1.2 pounds. It wasn't the great start that I'd hoped for, but I will take it.

This week, I need to focus on two things: drinking more water and adding some exercise. Exercise worries me. The last time I tried it threw me into an asthma attack. I'm still recovering from a different attack that sent me to the ER. That was my first serious attack, and even though I now have all kinds of meds to help, I'm still a bit gun-shy of the whole thing.

Ah, well. Not thrilled about my start, but it's better than gaining, right?

Sunday, June 6, 2010

False Mirrors

Have you ever looked in the mirror and been startled to realize you didn't know the person looking back at you? For whatever reason, for so long you thought you were looking at the "real" you, but then the light turned just right for you to see the truth - leaving you horrified at the blatant honesty that you somehow refused to see - instead, you created a false mirror to project the image of yourself that your mind had created.

I was looking at my blog archives. For three years I've made one pathetic attempt after another to lose weight. For three years I've struggled, usually halfheartedly, to make the person in the mirror congruent with the person in my head. I've said "no more!" and "this time I mean it!" and issued countless other pitiful excuses.

I'm not going to do that again. I'm too tired to offer up platitudes of repentance (maybe too embarrassed, too). At the same time, I don't feel a need to beat myself up, either.

I just have a goal... a simple one, at that. Tomorrow, I want to eat well. I want to make wise choices for every bite I put in my mouth. And I'd like to attempt some light exercise, if my asthma will allow it. The latter remains to be seen, but I will certainly try.

We shall see.