Ahem

In just over a year, I will be walking across a stage to receive a pin that says I've successfully survived nursing school. This is a big deal - bigger than a standard cap-and-gown affair. All the graduates wear white scrubs, speeches are made, and everyone sings Kum-Ba-Yah.

Okay, maybe not that song - but usually someone will sing. Point is, the ceremony is very personal and unique to the grads. I look forward to it more than I did my high school graduation.

I do not want to be fat when I walk across that stage. Especially not wearing white. I'd look like a beached whale.

Not exactly the image a health care worker wants to present.

So...

I'm a few weeks back into WW. I've lost 17 pounds. I still need to lose another 134.

Dear lord, did I just write that?

Yeah. I did.

So...

17 pounds down. I've finally started to exercise again. At school I walk the halls every chance I get. At home I'm doing arm curls when I'm stuck at the desk.

WW has just updated their program in such a way that encourages healthier, more natural food choices. I like it, I think - I just struggle to eat all that I'm supposed to. Who ever would have thought that would be possible? Even so, I'm making good choices so far.

Now I have to keep it up. I need to lose 2 pounds a week, and that ain't easy. Really, I'll be happy if I can walk across the stage at 180, but I'd like to be back to 153. It would be one hell of graduation gift to myself, eh?

Scales and Jeans

I have (quietly) been doing WW again since around the first of October. I am happy - nay, even thrilled! - to report that I have now lost 14.2 pounds and have fit into three pair of jeans that I have not worn in a year.

Woot!!

Week One Results

I lost 1.2 pounds. It wasn't the great start that I'd hoped for, but I will take it.

This week, I need to focus on two things: drinking more water and adding some exercise. Exercise worries me. The last time I tried it threw me into an asthma attack. I'm still recovering from a different attack that sent me to the ER. That was my first serious attack, and even though I now have all kinds of meds to help, I'm still a bit gun-shy of the whole thing.

Ah, well. Not thrilled about my start, but it's better than gaining, right?

False Mirrors

Have you ever looked in the mirror and been startled to realize you didn't know the person looking back at you? For whatever reason, for so long you thought you were looking at the "real" you, but then the light turned just right for you to see the truth - leaving you horrified at the blatant honesty that you somehow refused to see - instead, you created a false mirror to project the image of yourself that your mind had created.

I was looking at my blog archives. For three years I've made one pathetic attempt after another to lose weight. For three years I've struggled, usually halfheartedly, to make the person in the mirror congruent with the person in my head. I've said "no more!" and "this time I mean it!" and issued countless other pitiful excuses.

I'm not going to do that again. I'm too tired to offer up platitudes of repentance (maybe too embarrassed, too). At the same time, I don't feel a need to beat myself up, either.

I just have a goal... a simple one, at that. Tomorrow, I want to eat well. I want to make wise choices for every bite I put in my mouth. And I'd like to attempt some light exercise, if my asthma will allow it. The latter remains to be seen, but I will certainly try.

We shall see.

HUGE Victory!

Before I explain my blog title, I need to tell you that (once again) I am doing the Weight Watcher thing. I am beginning to feel like the Boy Who Cried Wolf - how many times can a girl say she's dieting before everyone just writes it off as another two-week phase? *sigh* I had a little scare one night during class - thought I might be having a heart attack - and even though my blood work looks pretty good, I realized I'd better nip it in the bud before I really had a major problem. So I rejoined WW for the umpteeth time. Really, now - I've completely lost count. I am also going to meetings this time 'round. Well, sorta. A lady I go to church with is a lifetime member, and she's trying a new approach to meetings. She'll be running a meeting at church, and I should be able to swing by on my lunch break. I'll really only have time to weigh in, but that's good enough for me.

Now, moving on to the story...

I am so proud of myself. :)

Yesterday was a long, busy day - but not a bad one. Peepop sang in a barbershop concert last night, and by the time I was ready to leave for the show, I'd accomplished every single one of the GHG's for the day, with 15.5 points to spare. I did this because I knew we'd be leaving early and I wouldn't have a chance to eat again for several hours.

Now, I thought we'd be going to Cracker Barrel after the show, since that's what we usually do. I can navigate CB just fine. Instead, we went to the cast party - and all they had was pizza and chips & dip. Mind you, I was starving.

Here's what I would have done two weeks ago: Eaten at least 3 pieces of pizza, plus a plateful of chips. I probably would've stopped at 3 only because there were other people there who wanted to eat also. Believe me, if I'd had pizza at home, 3 pieces would only have been an appetizer. lol

This is what I actually did: Found the smallest piece of plain cheese pizza I could (like I said - I was hungry, and I did still have 15 points left) and drank a glass of water.

That's it. You cannot imagine the self-restraint it took not to dive in, hungry as I was. I knew, though, that once I got started, I would have a hard time quitting, and I'd blow right past those 15 points.

Chalk up Big Victory Number One for me. :) Woot!!!!