Thursday, July 17, 2008

Where the Pedal Meets the Metal

I have a confession to make. This blog came dangerously close to deletion - my finger was on the button more than once. I quit. I didn't care. (Okay, I did care, but not enough to do anything.)

I had to quit WW because of transportation. Again. And since I was only partially motivated anyway, quitting meetings popped the balloon entirely on my drive.

But big changes are happening in my life. This fall I am taking prerequisites to the nursing program, and if all goes well, I'll be accepted and actually beginning my clinicals in just a little over a year. Here's the thing: I am so horribly out of shape and obese that I can't be on my feet for more than 30 minutes at a time. They hurt so much it feels like I'm walking on gravel.

Do you know what I want to do? I want to help deliver babies. I want to work in the NICU, with preemies and AIDS babies and crack babies. I want to eventually get a midwife certification and do missions work in Africa, teaching pregnant women and new mothers how to take care of themselves and their children.

And I can't do any of that unless this weight comes off. Besides being a horrible example, it's so inhibiting... I have to be able to survive clinicals, not to mention 12-hour shifts. It just ain't gonna happen in my current state. The weight has to come off. It has to happen. No more goofing off. No more excuses. No more late-night Krystal runs. No more pretending that what goes in my mouth won't land right on my thighs.

It's now or never. This is the end. My dreams can't go on hold any longer.

No comments: